This article is titled, “The 13 Best Things Jaden and Willow Smith Have Ever Said,” but it might as well be called, “Why I Can’t Get Enough of Jaden and Willow Smith.”
“Why didn’t you just name it that then?” you ask.
“Because in this crazy and possibly sad Internet age, people only click on headlines with numbers in them,” I reply.
Willow and Jaden Smith, who are of course the children of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, gave their first joint interview for the New York Time’s T Magazine. The world has already chuckled about Jaden’s twitter life, which has been called everything from “nonsensical,” to “hilarious” to “deep,” and we knew something within little Willow had changed when the “Whip My Hair” singer released a cover of King Krule, but never have we had the pleasure of witnessing what happens when the two siblings talk about life outlook in one another’s presence. These are two very existential teens.
Jaden is just 16 years old and Willow is a ripe 14, but Willow will be the first to let you know that she is currently reading “Quantum Physics. Osho.” Since you probably don’t know who Osho is because I don’t know who Osho is, Osho is an Indian mystic. Since I didn’t know who Osho was now, I sure as hell didn’t know who he was at 14.
The rest of their interview continues in the same vein. They are so pseudo-intellectual, existential, overly-mature for their age, and frankly ridiculous at times, that it makes you seriously contemplate whether or not they are the smartest, most avant-garde children alive or just full of shit. Sometimes I think they are caricatures of child hipsters, the way the cast of HBO’s Girls are caricatures of lazy, well-off millennials. Maybe it’s all a publicity stunt and they act that way because they know it’s entertaining as hell, but they’re just kids. I’d like to believe they’re more genuine than James Franco’s numerous attempts at “art” anyways.Regardless, I can’t get enough of them. They are alien children in a fascinating, strangely elitist way. They seem to understand concepts that adults who fancy themselves to be “deep” came up with, mixed in of course by some teenage short-sightedness and a tinge of trying too hard. I find that charming. Here are some examples:
1. Jaden when asked what he was reading:
“‘The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life’ and ancient texts; things that can’t be pre-dated.”
Because what kind of lame-o reads things that can be pre-dated?
2. Willow on the concept of time:
“I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.”
3. But my true favorite is her follow-up, which I’m going to use in response to any question from now on:
WILLOW: Because living.
4. Willow when asked about self-improvement:
“Caring less what everybody else thinks, but also caring less and less about what your own mind thinks, because what your own mind thinks, sometimes, is the thing that makes you sad.”
Here is one of those adult concepts Willow nonchalantly whips out. It sounds strange but can touch on common adult themes like, “you are your own worst critic,” rumination, and even depression. Bad thoughts breed more bad thoughts, and so sometimes you need to protect yourself from yourself.
5. Ok so they might be shaping up to be tiny Kanye Wests:
WILLOW: I mean, “Whip My Hair” was a great thing. When I look back I think, “Wow, I did so much for young black girls and girls around the world. Telling them that they can be themselves and to not be afraid to be themselves.” And I’m doing that now but in a whole different way, coming from source energy and universal truths. People will be, like, “Oh, I’m not going to make a song about exactly how I feel, all the bad ways that I feel, and put it out in the world so everyone can judge me.” But for me, it’s a part of me, it’s my artistic journey.
JADEN: That’s another thing: What’s your job, what’s your career? Nah, I am. I’m going to imprint myself on everything in this world.
6. On Music and Literature:
JADEN: Honestly, we’re just trying to make music that we think is cool. We don’t think a lot of the music out there is that cool. So we make our own music. We don’t have any song that we like to listen to on the P.C.H. by any other artist, you know?
WILLOW: That’s what I do with novels. There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing.
JADEN: Willow’s been writing her own novels since she was 6.
Just stop it. You don’t like to read any novels but your own novels? Not to be basic but, “I can’t.”
7. What a discovery!
WILLOW: Me and Jaden just figured out that our voices sound like chocolate together. As good as chocolate tastes, it sounds that good.
8. On Fashion:
JADEN: Willow just dropped a song (“Cares”), let me quote the lyrics: “I do not care what people say.” We both don’t really care. I like to wear things that I make, but I throw it on as though I was throwing on anything. It looks cool, sometimes.
Obviously Jaden makes his own clothes, but it only looks cool, sometimes.
9. When asked, “What are the things worth having?”
JADEN: Something that’s worth buying to me is like Final Cut Pro or Logic.
WILLOW: A canvas. Paint. A microphone.
Well, at least we know who the practical child is.
10. On babies:
JADEN: It’s prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach. They remember. Babies remember.
WILLOW: When they’re in the stomach, they’re so aware, putting all their bones together, putting all their ligaments together. But they’re shocked by this harsh world.
JADEN: By the chemicals and things, and then slowly…
WILLOW: As they grow up, they start losing.
JADEN: You know, they become just like us.
Another great quotable to insert into your daily life. Your boss says, “Where’s that report I asked for,” and you just turn to him slowly, sadly and whisper, “Babies remember.”
11. On Driver’s Education
JADEN: You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.
Which definitely makes sense because accidents are sure to decrease if we just let every 16 year old drive a car with absolutely no training!
12. On when Willow tried School:
WILLOW: I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, “Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.” But it was the worst experience because I was depressed.
13. On what’s next:
JADEN: I have a goal to be just the most craziest person of all time. And when I say craziest, I mean, like, I want to do like Olympic-level things. I want to be the most durable person on the planet.
WILLOW: I think by the time we’re 30 or 20, we’re going to be climbing as many mountains as we can possibly climb.
This is what happens when your dad has played too many superhuman characters.
There you have it. Jaden and Willow may be the world’s most interesting children. I for one, can’t get enough.