1. McDonald’s Chipotle Snack Wraps (crispy, with no lettuce) are SO good.
Like SO, SO good and it’s a travesty knowing that there are McDonald’s surrounding you no matter what country you visit and NONE OF THEM HAVE THEM. Sure they might have something like it, but the sauce is always different beyond the states. Acute cravings for diner food (greasy hashbrowns!!!), a really good hamburger, and peanut butter often also ensue. And BAGELS! Real, NYC style bagels. What I wouldn’t give.
2. You Are Addicted to a Food Item That Everyone Else in the Country Loves…
…and you can’t get in your home country. In Milan, I was all about Panzerotti from Luini’s and great Italian coffee – namely a ‘cappucco’ (a cute word for a singular Cappuccino and pronounced ca-pooch-oh which makes it sound like a chubby little pet). In Turkey I was addicted to rice pudding and Turkish tea. Even though I can get rice pudding in the U.S. it sure as hell does not taste the same.
3. Why Is My Internet So Slow?
I mean, I know it’s actually not that slow in the grand scheme of things but I am used to waiting NEVER so why is this taking so long? What do you mean can’t connect to server? DAMNIT COMCAST!!! Oh right they don’t exist here? Screaming “CHE CAZZO FAI VODAFONE?!” really doesn’t have the same ring to it. (DISCLAIMER: this one probably doesn’t apply to you if you’re abroad in, say, South Korea. Pretty sure they have the fastest internet everywhere and buy grocery’s with their smart phone, although I did not witness that when I was there a few months ago. But that’s what Buzzfeed said so it must be true!).
3.5. Instagram Is Having Trouble Uploading…
…and I can’t live tweet my daily life because I don’t have 4G outside of the USA. Like right now I’m sitting in bed and I’m thirsty. I know that everyone is interested in a play by play of my day. So many good sub tweets forgotten and gone to waste.
4. Oh, So That’s What Reading a Book That’s Not For School Is Like!
When books become your main reminder on how to speak English above a 3rd grade level, you start to really relish them.
5. You Are Actually Capable Of…
…sitting in more forms of transport (plane, train, bus, metro, car, golf cart etc.) than you ever thought possible for more hours than you ever thought possible.
6. You Have No Money.
Yeah. You’re broke. You spent all your money on everything you do. The exchange rate isn’t being good to you. But it’s ok because you got to ride elephants, which you feel very morally conflicted about because it’s cruel but you’re also basking in the glory of being so close to such sweet, intelligent giants of the earth. Plus you look like Khaleesi in your photos.
7. The “I Do What I Want” Mentality in the United States Doesn’t Really Fly …
…because you WILL get yelled at for putting your feet up on the seat across from you on the train by both the conductor and an angry Italian grandpa even though you’re the only person in the car and it’s more comfortable to sleep that way and you swear your shoes are clean. Just because you thought it would be ok since the train is already as old as sin unfortunately doesn’t mean that it is. Mussolini probably rode on it. It was probably nice back then.
8. All of the Crime Shows You Can Possibly Watch No Longer Illicit Any Fear…
…because they all happen in NY/LA/Vegas/Miami, and so you’re totally safe across the ocean because we all know that those crazy outlandish crimes that U.S. network television comes up with don’t happen anywhere else.
9. You Remember Why You Like People
You know that feeling you get when one of your best friends that you haven’t talked to in a few months because you’re generally bad at keeping in touch, especially while in a foreign country (because hello, slow internet!), emails you and the email is so them? As in it doesn’t say anything special, it’s just quintessentially that person; you can hear them saying it in your head in exactly their intonation and you are suddenly filled with happiness battling with the feeling of you missing them terribly. That’s when you have that moment: “Oh yeah, THAT’S why they’re one of my best friends.”
10. You Will Really Miss It, No Matter How Eager You Are to Go Home to Normalcy
This pretty much sums it up:
You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place, I told him, like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.
― Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran